The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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