took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
