ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
