Why are handjobs necessary in class?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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