I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
