..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Panties = found
Randomize