who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize