Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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