Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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