K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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