We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
