you guys were way drunker than both of me
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
