Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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