Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
