She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
