I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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