You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
