so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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