I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
