"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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