so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
