they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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