you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
