hell yes lets make some ravioli
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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