I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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