He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
