So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
