I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
