On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
