i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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