Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
