Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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