shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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