This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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