what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
