Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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