So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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