'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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