He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize