Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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