i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
