I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
