don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
