school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
