dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Boobs speak an international language.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
