i just had sex bonerless
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
