This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
pop tarts are not kleenex
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
