you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
