apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
