i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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