I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
