meet me or not, i'm out of control
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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