It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
