I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
