If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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