i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
