You work out of a Hotel?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize