why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
