I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
