ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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