Your tits are I can't wait for
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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